I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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