playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
