You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
