Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
