Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
