i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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