I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
