3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize