Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize