So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
