Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
