sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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