So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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