I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
