you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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