sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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