I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
