can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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