Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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