Sry I called you an 8
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm passing your future prison.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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