to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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