She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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