I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
