Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
