girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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