One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize