well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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