I'm sorry my penis didn't work
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
