If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
