Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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