I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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