And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
