It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
