I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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