PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
