Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
