all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i now understand why vodka
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
