So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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