i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
