wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
