I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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