I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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