So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
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He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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