honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
