I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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