Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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