I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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