My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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