Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
