I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I didn't shave. On purpose
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
