I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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