i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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