you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
