I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
