It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
