I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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