can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
