I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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