She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
