Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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