Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
