The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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