yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
