its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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