she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
